moderator- Mr. Obama, the name calling in this election has gotten down right nasty. Why do you think this has happened?
Obama- Let me say up front, I have not called anyone a name not deserved. Palin does look like a pig and the lipstick did not help. McCain is older than Methulselah and will die before 90% of the U.S. population. That said, please know that I have complete respect for pigs and for old, wrinkly people.
McCain- Name calling? No sir. My campaign is about the facts. My opponent would like the American people to believe that a 20 year association with an anti-american, terrorist, professor means nothing. By the way, I am not old. That is only the impression given by bad photographs and stupid tv cameramen.
moderator- Mr. Obama would you like to respond to the belief that the educated among us believe that you are a home-grown socialist?
Obama- A socialist I am not. I only read Karl Marx in college once per week and I only choose professors that supported socialism but that does not make me a socialist! I simply want to see all Americans enjoying equal economic standing. If some have more than others, it is their American duty to share that excess with the less fortunate. Taxes on the more wealthy Americans will accomplish this purpose.
moderator- Mr. McCain, there was a great controversy over the incident involving your own wealth. It was widely reported that you did not know that you owned 7 homes. How is this possible?
McCain- Those homes are in the name of my wife. I am not a sexist caveman who feels threatened by the immense success and wealth of a spouse. If she would like to collect houses then who am I to say that she can't?
moderator- One last question. What is your take on the phenonmen of Joe the plumber?
Obama- He is a plumber, but not a minority yet still not wealthy. A statistic that does not quite fit in with my philosophy but we'll make it work. If he will cease and desist from working harder and maintain a low to poor income, he should be treated equally with all the rest. If he decides to to receive further education or training that would allow him to make more money, he will then be on the side of Americans who are patriotically sharing their income with the rest. I recommend that he stay out of capitalism and it's greed. It is far easier in my plan for Joe the plumber to just to receive the check in the mail.
McCain- Joe is my new best friend. The new minority fifty years from now: white, middle-class individuals who are seeing an America where their children will not do better than they did. He keeps showing up at my campaign stops and the people love him. There is a rumor that he would make a great talk show host like that guy Jerry Springer.
moderator- Thank you candidates. Until November 5th, let the votes fall where they may.
Seriously, check this out.
Jim and Carrie Heywood
The BEST of the Heywoods
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
You go girl!! You said that very well!!
This morning we were talking about the election results and Elise made up this joke:
What do you say when you are depressed?
"Obumma"
Post a Comment